Q: How do we explain to a loved one that God is not the one who makes them sick, bitter, or have no joy?
A: In the Old Testament, there was a practice of assigning the guilt and sin of everyone in the community to a spotless lamb or goat and then sacrificing it or sending it off into the wilderness. It is where we get our term “scapegoat” and it foreshadowed what Jesus would do on the cross. Your question points to the reality that God still serves as the scapegoat today; God is often blamed for the mess of our fallen and sinful world. Since Pastor Ron preached on this subject, I refer you to his message “Where was God.”
However, I want to address the particulars of your question.
Jesus is the best revelation we have of God (the Book of Hebrews emphasizes this). Look at what Jesus did and said; he healed, he reached out to the social outcasts and “sinners” to eat meals with them and ask them to follow him. He said that his desire was to have us experience abundant life, joy and peace. He poured out the Holy Spirit on believers that we might grow in love, joy and peace among others. He pointed to forgiveness as the only sure cure for bitterness and commanded us to do it because he knows it frees our hearts.
Where in any of the revelation of Jesus do you find him making people sick, bitter or joyless? Nowhere.
