Unbelieving Children

Q: What do you say when your own child that was raised in a Christian home and was active in church – now says that they don’t believe the Bible is from God. They believe that it was changed with each translation. They believe there is a God – but not in the Bible and they do not believe or like church at all. Help!

A: If your child is open to discussions or reading, you can have conversations along the lines of what you’ve seen on this blog. For instance, there is a lot of data that clearly refutes the issue of the Bible changing with each translation. If your child is not open to these kind of conversations, forcing them is of little help; I know from experience. So then, what do we parents do?

As difficult as it is, I think we follow the lead of the father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. We allow them to be people with free will and make choices, even if they are bad. I’m not saying we abdicate our position as parents, but that position changes with the age of our children; as one person said to me, “we remain responsible to our children, but no longer responsible for them.” The father let his child go his own way, even with a blessing he didn’t deserve. Then each day, as he went on living his life and working and relating with his other children, he eagerly watched the horizon, ready to embrace his child when the child came to his senses.

For us, I think that looks like daily prayer; by us and by our friends and family. Not the kind of prayer that demands the next thing that happens or that we say to be THE thing that turns our child around, but the kind that is for the long haul. The hard part, especially in our society, is often the child comes over the hill not because of coming to his senses, but just to take more from us. That’s hard, and tough love may be called for. But continue to pray as an act of love to that child, regardless of outcomes.

Then, we live out our faith. We live consistently with Christ’s principles. I found that I was pushing Jesus, but living my life and treating my child with anger, bitterness, fear and frustration. Jesus doesn’t do that. So we find safe, appropriate places to properly deal with our junk, and then we deal with our kids like Christ-centered parents. Easy to say, tough to do, but I think like a lot of things, the hard route is the right one.

Remember, teens and young adults are looking to form their own identity and break away from parental influences. This may be as much about or more about you and your child than God and your child. For more information and encouragement, you may want to check out www.family.org.

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Denominations

Q: If Christianity is Christianity - how do we deal with those of other denominations who are convinced that theirs is the only correct belief system?

A: I went on a summer mission trip years ago when I was in college. I remember something that the director said that I thought was profound. I think it applies here. He said...
"In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity." Basically, what that means is:

* There are certain things that are non-negotiables in the Christian faith. Some of these are that Jesus is the only way to God; that He died a substitutionary death for us for our sin; that God exists in three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; and that the Bible is the inspired Word of God. This list is far from exhaustive. We believe that, in order to call oneself a Christian, there must be a belief in and a trust placed in these essential truths. If someone believes something else, then historic Christianity would probably say that that person is not a Christian, but something else.

* There are also certain things that are negotiables: how to baptize (dunking or sprinkling, infant or believer), how to take Communion (intinction or wafer, wine or juice), what songs we should use in worship (hymns or contemporary worship songs or secular music), what version of the Bible to use (KJV, NIV, NRSV, NLT), and so on. These are not really essential to having a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Because of that, we can show each other some liberty to believe differently than what we believe in those areas. It shouldn't affect how we view that person's relationship with God.

* In either of the above areas, there should always be charity shown. Charity is an old word for love. We should always be loving, no matter the circumstance. The problem seems to come when we find that we differ in our beliefs with others, whether it be in negotiables or non-negotiables. Too often we - as Christians - respond with vitriol, scorn, and pride. We look down on and argue with others who believe differently, instead of loving them despite our differences, as Jesus would do. Would Jesus refuse to hang out with someone because they believed differently? Those are exactly the people He did hang out with. As a result of us not modeling Jesus, those who don't consider themselves to be followers of Christ / Christians see this infighting and ask, "Why would I want to be a part of that? They can't even get along with each other." That's a problem.

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The Christian and suffering

Q: I believe that I am a Christian. I pray, I go to church, I teach kids about God, but bad things keep happening to me all the time. Why is that?

A: Becoming a Christian doesn’t exempt us from suffering. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” In this saying he promises two things: that we will experience suffering and that his life brings ultimate meaning to it and victory over it.

You could even argue that becoming a Christian increases our likelihood of suffering because now there is the added dimension of persecution because of our faith. (Not that we in America face anything closely resembling the persecution our brothers and sisters in Christ face in other parts of the world!) Think of all the suffering the first disciples faced, the hardships of the Apostle Paul, the tens of thousands of martyrs who died for their faith. Bad things happened to them, didn’t they? Yet, they rejoiced. They even sang when falsely imprisoned. Why? The resurrected Christ dwelt in their hearts!

Within this question is a hint that...

“if I do the right things, things should go well for me.” I’m not saying the person who asked this question is practicing their faith with an ulterior motive in mind, but the reality is some do approach God from a position of bargaining. “I’ll join a church, go to small group, pay my tithes, keep my kids in church, God, as long as you bless me and make my life comfortable and rewarding! God, I’ll do my part if you’ll do yours!” When something has really gone well for you, have you ever heard someone say, “You must be living right?” That is not a biblical notion. God’s blessings come to us as a gift, not because we’re living right. Now, don’t get me wrong: Right living has its rewards (the satisfaction of doing the right thing, the joy of obedience, etc.). But, we should serve God out of gratitude and love; not for what we might get in return.

Think of it this way. Let’s say that becoming a Christ follower meant you supernaturally entered a trouble free zone. You never got sick, you always had an abundance financially, your car never broke down, your kids got straight A’s … you get the picture. Now, under those circumstances, how many would become Christians? Just about everyone … and for all the wrong reasons. They’d be mercenaries, not disciples.

Jesus suffered. We will suffer. Jesus’ suffering was redeemed. Our suffering will be redeemed.

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Where did Cain get his wife?

Q: How could all the races of the world come from one man and one woman? Did Cain and Abel marry their sisters?

A: If people are asking questions about the Bible, this one is sure to come up. The Bible doesn’t tell us, so it is speculation. Here are a couple options:

The Talmud (a history of commentary on the law by Jewish rabbis) tells us that Cain and Able were both born with twin sisters, who married the other brother. Yes, that is incest by later standards but, given the circumstances, it was necessary in the beginning.

In his book, The Science of God, Gerald Schroeder offers an interesting alternative view. He speculates that since Genesis says Adam was “made,” not “created” (meaning he was made out of something already existing), that the earth by this time was filled with...

hominids – pre-human creatures. When God announces His punishment on Cain for killing his brother, Genesis 4:15 says Cain “will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds [him] will kill [him].” That suggests that there are other people in the world besides Cain, his parents and siblings. Schroeder suggests these are hominids, pre-human beings who may or may not have had spirit breathed into them by God as had happened when Adam was made. Again, this is speculation but it has biblical warrant in the language of Genesis. Interestingly, this would reconcile some aspects of evolutionary theory with the biblical account of creation. He does a much better job of describing this, so I suggest getting his book if you want to dig deeper.

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Dinosaurs!

Q: Where do dinosaurs come into God’s creation?

A: Ah yes, the ultimate FAQ – the dinosaur question! Several people asked the question in different ways.

Since the Bible’s main objective is to tell the story of God’s history of redemption (and not the history of our planet), it is not obligated to cover material that is irrelevant to the development of that story. In all likelihood, dinosaurs were extinct long before Adam & Eve. That doesn’t mean the Bible is completely silent on the matter. Genesis 1:21 tells about Day 5 of creation and mentions the taninim gedolim. It gets translated a number of different ways. Gedolim meant “big” and taninim was a category of animal. This word is used elsewhere in the Old Testament and it is always a...

reptile. So, you could translate this verse, “And God created the big reptiles…” Since the author is mentioning animals only known to people at the time of writing, it would have been inconsistent in his writing style to mention something they would not have been familiar with. But, it is a hint; and perhaps that’s all it is.

Underlying the dinosaur question, often, is the notion that their existence somehow proves the Bible wrong. The existence of dinosaurs is only a problem if you are a “young earth creationist,” meaning you interpret from Genesis that the earth is only about 6,000 years old. That is a minority position within the Christian community. Old Earth Creationists believe the earth is millions of years old, though the story of God’s redemption of the world spans the past 6000. There are also “theistic evolutionists,” those who believe in God and accept the theory of evolution. Folks in these latter two camps have no trouble reconciling dinosaurs and the Bible.

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Predestination

Q: If we are predestined as God says in the Bible in Romans, what is the use of being a Christian?

A: This question is loaded with several questions, but I’ll try to keep it brief. I don’t believe in predestination as some do (we call these folks Calvinists because this thinking traces back to John Calvin), but let me answer it as they would. Calvinists would say those predestined to believe in and follow Christ (i.e. be a “Christian") couldn’t say, “so why be a Christian?” or they wouldn’t be predestined. They believe that if you are predestined you cannot, under your own free will, resist God’s grace. They would say it’s the same as saying “Roger is predestined to be a football player, so he said ‘what the heck’ and became a baseball player.” If he became a baseball player then he wasn’t predestined to be a football player.

Now I think what you’re really asking is why not go out and do whatever you want to do because either you were predestined or you weren’t. Why be moral, why praise God, why pray, why evangelize if people are either in or out prior to anything they decide themselves? Good questions, actually; but a Calvinist would say “because God commanded these things and you must not really be predestined if you don’t do what God commands.” They don’t mean be perfect, but commit yourself to God, serving, evangelizing, following God’s precepts, and asking for his forgiveness.

As I said, I am not a Calvinist. I don’t believe we are predestined in the sense that God said, “that one, that one, not those three, that one…” I think God foreknows what everyone will choose, but he doesn’t choose it for them. God sees time all at once; he sees the future like we see the past. Do you and I know it sleeted yesterday? Yes. Does that mean we made it sleet yesterday? No. It’s the same with God and the future. He allows our free will in choosing. The Romans passage you mention says that for those God foreknew (those he knew would choose him, but didn’t cause them to choose him) he predestined to become like his Son. It is the outcome that was predestined. It’s like a bus that is going to St. Louis. The destination is predestined, who gets on the bus is not…though God would know in advance who gets on the bus because he’s outside of time. But each person still decides for himself or herself.

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God the Scapegoat

Q: How do we explain to a loved one that God is not the one who makes them sick, bitter, or have no joy?

A: In the Old Testament, there was a practice of assigning the guilt and sin of everyone in the community to a spotless lamb or goat and then sacrificing it or sending it off into the wilderness. It is where we get our term “scapegoat” and it foreshadowed what Jesus would do on the cross. Your question points to the reality that God still serves as the scapegoat today; God is often blamed for the mess of our fallen and sinful world. Since Pastor Ron preached on this subject, I refer you to his message “Where was God.”
However, I want to address the particulars of your question.

Jesus is the best revelation we have of God (the Book of Hebrews emphasizes this). Look at what Jesus did and said; he healed, he reached out to the social outcasts and “sinners” to eat meals with them and ask them to follow him. He said that his desire was to have us experience abundant life, joy and peace. He poured out the Holy Spirit on believers that we might grow in love, joy and peace among others. He pointed to forgiveness as the only sure cure for bitterness and commanded us to do it because he knows it frees our hearts.

Where in any of the revelation of Jesus do you find him making people sick, bitter or joyless? Nowhere.

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Monotheism--One God

Q: The Ten Commandments…Thou shalt have no other gods before me…so is God acknowledging there are other gods?

A: I can understand at first glance that maybe someone could come to the conclusion that God is acknowledging that there are other gods; however, I think it is important to understand a little of the history of the Ancient Near East.

Israel was unique in the ANE exclusively because they maintained that there is only one God. This position is known as monotheism. Israel was unique because at that time the ANE was riddled with societies that believed in multiple gods. This position is known as polytheism.

The reason I mention this is to provide some context to the question. God was not necessarily acknowledging that there were others gods, as much as he was saying to all the people in the ANE and the world that there is only one God, the God of Israel. In other words, all those “gods” people were worshiping were not really gods at all because there is only one God.

Many people in the ANE participated in all kinds of idol worship and many of the “gods” people worshiped were simply created out of wood or metal. The God of the Bible is not a created object. The Bible is clear that God is the one and only God and all should recognize this fact and worship him.

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The Uniqueness of Jesus

Q: I have a very difficult time believing that the ONLY way to God is through Jesus Christ.

A: This is more of a statement than a question, but there are a lot of questions wrapped up in it. We live in a time in history when certainty and truth is not a high priority. Our world and culture are regularly questioning and challenging the foundations that at one time where simply accepted. I actually think this is a good thing on some levels, because people are asking questions and wanting more information. It’s good to see people considering faith and spirituality more and more.

We live in a culture that struggles with the word “only” or any absolute. In this world, truth is relative to the person. In other words, whatever you think is true - is true. The problem with this approach to understanding the world, in my opinion, is that the person becomes the center of the world. The person gets to determine what truth is no matter how dysfunctional or disturbing. If a person wants to think or believe that flying airplanes into office buildings is a good thing then “poof” it is a good thing.

Believing that Jesus Christ is the only way to God is most defiantly a foundational truth and teaching of the Bible and the Church. However, when the backdrop to this foundational truth is relativism or some kind of mix-and-match theology people will naturally begin to question the certainty of the Bible’s position.

It takes faith to believe in Jesus Christ and I don’t think it takes any less faith to believe that Jesus is the ONLY way to God. It seems arrogant for one particular religion to make such a claim and I understand why someone might think this about Christianity. However, Christianity is not trying to be arrogant or even exclusive in the sense that they are trying to keep people out; like some kind of religious country club. The Church is simply trying to state what we believe and what it clearly communicated in God’s Word.

I think that the word “only” is what really gets people tripped up. I like to think about it in terms of the uniqueness of Jesus Christ. The thing that makes Christianity different then other religions is Jesus Christ. He is the uniqueness. I realize that this word gets translated in all kinds of ways in various circles, but the fact still remains that Jesus was not trying to be exclusive or exclusionary—if anything Jesus was trying to be the most inclusive person ever to live on this earth. He wants all people to believe in him and find eternal life. Jesus is the difference when compared to other religions or other thoughts on God. He is the unique factor that sometimes gets misrepresented by people who are searching.

The Bible tells us that Jesus is the way to God. He is the uniqueness of our faith. He is not the great excluder. He wants all people to come to him and believe so that they might have eternal life.

Why do you have a very difficult time believing that the ONLY way to God is through Jesus Christ?

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Why Parables?

Q: Why did Jesus (who was obviously “different” – doing miracles and healing) speak in parables (and then had to explain to the disciples)? Did he not want the “masses” to understand his message?

A: This is a great question – because it is one that the disciples, themselves, asked Jesus in Matthew 13:10. Jesus answered them by saying, “You are permitted to understand the secrets [mysteries] of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others are not. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have...
...an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them. That is why I use these parables, for they look, but they don’t really see. They hear, but they don’t really listen or understand.” (Matt. 13:11-13 NLT)
One important thing to realize is the timeframe in which so many of Jesus’ parables were told. Because many of the established leaders of ‘religion’ at that time were turning against Him, Jesus was forced to move His ministry from the synagogue to the seashore. In doing so, He was speaking out in the open where everyone could come and listen – not just those who wanted to hear his teachings and grow closer to Him – but also those who were His adversaries and wanted to find condemning evidence to use against him.
It’s not like Jesus is hiding the truth from some people, but not from others. He’s not intentionally trying to pull one over on the “masses”. What He is telling us in the above verses is that some people can understand spiritual truth and some people cannot. Many of the people that were listening to his teachings were not, in fact, hearing him. Their hearts were hardened; they were prideful; their spiritual condition was poor. On them, the parable was lost. These adversaries heard a great story, nothing more.
Yet there were many others listening to him, who were hearing. They were humble; they were anxious to hear what Jesus was teaching; to them, the teachings were made clear.
In his commentary on the book of Matthew, Michael Green says, “It may seem unfair, but that is life. If you do not use your muscles you eventually lose the use of them. If you do use them, they increase in size and strength. It is the same at the spiritual level. The parables bring light for those who look for it, and for those who do not the darkness intensifies.”
In addition, Jesus used parables because it is a fantastic storytelling technique. Per Webster’s – a parable is a “short, simple story teaching a moral lesson.” These simple, short stories hold our attention and are very easy to remember. They are also easy to relate to and cause us to spend some time reflecting.I do want to make it clear, that Jesus DID want the masses to understand His teachings. Even those with hardened hearts and closed minds can come around full circle to the promise in Luke 11:9: “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” His desire is that everyone would turn to Him and pursue an understanding of the truths found in His Word.

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