Forgive AND Forget???

Q: What about forgiving and forgetting – do you have to do both?


A: Years ago, Pastor Ron did a sermon about forgiveness in which he touched on this topic. I remember it so clearly because I was having such an intense struggle with forgiveness issues at that time. I was becoming re-acquainted with my faith after years away from God and was allowing bitterness to creep into my heart, which played out in many of my actions, etc. I kept praying about forgiveness, but continued to struggle as I could not allow myself to reconcile a friendship with a person that had hurt me deeply.
What I learned during that message literally changed my life. That day, I learned that there is a difference in dwelling on past hurts and remembering past hurts. We are instructed to forgive, we are not instructed to forgive and forget. In fact, remembering is encouraged time and time again throughout The Bible. Remembering is a key component to growth.
During the message, Pastor Ron gave the example of a business person who discovered that an employee had been stealing from them and so they fired the employee. He made it very clear that there was a definite need on the part of the employer to forgive the employee. But, then he posed the most interesting question. If you truly forgive the employee, does that mean you would have to rehire them?
The answer was “no”. You have not forgotten what happened. You do not have to “forget” to use good judgment by not placing that person in a position where they have the opportunity to steal again. Forgiving them just means you have let it go. You are not dwelling on it anymore. You are not sitting around making a game plan on how you are going to get back at them.
After that day, I did reconcile that friendship…but on different terms. I have forgiven this person. I do not bring up the events that took place so long ago. I do not dwell on revenge. At the same time, I do not allow myself to be in the same situation I was in before when I got hurt.
Why?
Because I didn't forget.