Why am I Different?

Q:How can you prove God loves us if he lets such terrible things happen? How does he let kids be so mean? Why did he make me so different - not like everyone else? Why doesn't he let me have a friend?

A: Wow, what a painful question! Before I try to address it - and note I said 'try' - I would like to say how sorry I am for the pain you must feel. To feel like you are all alone and that no one understands is not a fun place to be. I'm sorry for what you are going through. I wish I could help in some tangible way. I will try my best to answer your question and pray that it helps you out in some small way.

I would like for you to imagine two worlds for me. In each world, you have the ability to create things and beings:

• In the first world, you create a race of beings, let's say hamsters. Each one of them is different: some brown, some white, some brown and white, some fat, some skinny, some smart, some not-so-smart, and so on. In this world, you give the hamsters a choice: whether to love you or to reject you. It is completely their choice. Now, you can do whatever you want to help them make their choice: feed them, pet them, give them water, buy them a cool wheel to run around on, love on them. But you can't force them to love you. They can still reject you if they want to. And some do, but some don't. Some choose to love you.
• In the second world, you create a race of robots. Each one of them is the same: silver metal robots. In this world, you don't give the robots a choice: they are created with only the ability to love you. They can't choose anything different; they HAVE TO love you. You don't have to do anything to earn it. You can treat them horribly and it wouldn't matter. They would still love you, because they are forced to. They don't have any other option.

Which is the better world? If you ask me, I think the first one is the better world because the hamsters can choose whether or not they want to love you. I would rather have someone love me because they want to, and not because they are forced to.

Our world is the same way. God created us to have a choice, and some of us - all of us, actually, at one time or another - use that choice to reject God. We use our freedom in not so nice ways. We lie, cheat, steal, and treat people pretty badly. I think that's what you are experiencing, people using their freedom in a bad way, to reject God and you. It's nothing you did wrong and nothing bad about who you are. It's simply people choosing to reject God and His desires for how people should treat each other.

About being created different, I think it shows the creativity of God. You might not like how you were created right now, but God thinks you are pretty cool that way, because He is the one that made you that way. The book of Jeremiah tells us that God knew us even before we were made in the womb. That tells me that you weren't an accident, that God knew what He was doing. Why He created you that particular way, I don't know, but He does have a plan for your life. Maybe this time is making you stronger for the stuff you have to deal with. Maybe later in life you will be able to deal with some stuff that others can't because you are having a difficult time now. Maybe you have a special calling because of how you were created. I remember hearing a guy speak to our youth group in Ohio who had basically no arms and no legs. He was REALLY different! But he still played football and basketball, and he used his difference as a platform to speak about his relationship with God. He might not have had that platform if it weren't for his difference. So yes, you were created different, just like the rest of us. And while it might not feel very good right now, it wasn't an accident and can be something great later on.

One last note of encouragement: Jesus knows what you are going through. Isaiah 53 tells us that Jesus didn't have anything special about Him that made Him particularly attractive, and that He would be rejected and abused for who He was. And He was. If you feel rejected, Jesus felt it. If you feel unattractive, Jesus felt it. If you feel abused, Jesus felt it. When you feel these things, talk to Jesus about it. He understands.